Self-Control

The love of my life came in to work today. She didn't know where I worked, so I wasn't surprised to witness her surprise when she saw me behind the counter. I was, however, surprised. We hadn't had sex. She must have, I guess.

"I'm sorry...I just need to get this procedure done...I'm sorry...We'll talk about it later."

I need to spell this dilemma out on the table:
If I abort the fetus, she'll be happy, and she can pretend this never happened. She'll go on to hope that I'll forget about any kind of affair she could have had, and chances are I won't forget, but I'll feign ignorance just to maintain the healthy relationship I thought I had. However, I'm preventing the son of the girl I love from being born. I'm not sure how I feel about that issue though considering, number one, I'm not the father, and number two, she still has the ability to produce more children when the time is right. I'll get paid.

If I refuse to abort the fetus, she'll be stuck with the baby as a punishment for whatever she's done to me. The father will have to pay sums of money for child support, their lives will be miserable, and I'll find someone else who won't try to cover up an extra relationship in the sketchiest way imaginable. Lives will be ruined, my life will go on.

The baby will live as a punishment. Its sole purpose is to punish its parents. That can't be right. Is it?

I'm an abortionist, not a lover, not a vengeful, soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, definitely not financially irresponsible.

I did it, and for the first time ever, I did not say one word to my patient, and my patient didn't say one word to me until it was over.

"I guess...call me tonight, and we'll talk about it...I'm really sorry."

I didn't call. I don't plan on calling. I did her a favor, and I don't expect anything else in return because, I guess I'm just a good person...ironically.

Force of a Father

There is a line, even for abortionists. I crossed that line, and I feel remorse. Boy, do I feel remorse. But, on the other hand, I need the money. I look out for myself.

This afternoon I had an appointment with a very young girl. I say young both in age, and in naivete. Accompanying her was her father. For an abortion clinic, it's very rare for a parent to accompany his child. The pamphlet says "Your little secret," after all.
"She was raped. She needs an abortion. End of story."
The girl named "Irrelevant" (as was her name filled out in the papers) was silent. Apparently, her thoughts were irrelevant to the father, and myself. I just want to be paid.

I took her to my office and performed my daily rituals.

Now, some of you may be wondering how I perform my services so quickly. For my own legal safety, I am not allowed to delve into detail. However, I am at liberty to explain that my methods are of the most unconventional while at the same time they remain safe...at least for those actually alive. Sorry. That was uncalled for...
Wait. What am I apologizing for? I'm an abortionist.

When I was finished, she figured there was no point in holding it in any longer.
"I wanted the baby. I was raped. At least, I think I was. But is it rape if I wanted the baby? I didn't want...that....but I wanted the baby..."
Her voice trailed off, her dad finished the rest of the forms and they both just left. I looked on the front desk to find a stack of cash with a sticky note that read "tip."
Tips for abortions? Now I've seen everything.

Now that I've seen everything, I get to think about everything. My line of work helps people. I guess there are cases where it ruins people. Does it ruin people often even though those people have the mindset that they're being helped?

I stare at my earnings again.
That should get me through my date tonight. She's a real special lady.

Curious

She thought she was pregnant. At least, I assume she thought she was pregnant. Actually, I'm not sure what she was thinking, and I don't think I know what I'm thinking.

The appointment went like this:

A younger woman, 16, walks into my office and asks to get an abortion. I perform the regular check-ups and procedures used in my line of business, and I finally tell her, in a very confused tone of voice. "Excuse me, miss, but you don't seem to be pregnant."

"Oh really?"

Her expression was blank. My expression turned blank. This was augmented by the fact that my equipment was disconnected somehow and the screens went blank (although, this actually didn't add much considering there was no fetus on the screen to begin with).

She just left. I didn't bother asking her for any form of money for the procedures, because this left me so completely baffled that I just didn't care about money. I guess I just get some sick satisfaction of recording such an occurrence here.

This woman was a curious case. She is 45, faithful to her husband. I know she's faithful because she has no reason to lie. Her appointment is over and I will never see her again, nor come into contact with anyone she knows personally. If that were the case and she knew that I would come into contact with such a person, she wouldn't have traveled all the way from Wisconsin to come see me. But then again, if she were faithful, why would she be so cautious as to who knows that she got an abortion.

There's an obvious answer to such an obvious question. There are actually several. The one I'm going to dwell on for the time being is the assumption of misconception. Such an assumption, of course, has ground. Most likely, if an acquaintance (note: not a close friend) heard that she decided not to have a baby while she kept quiet about it (which again brings us to this paradox) s/he would assume the worst situation. In this case, unfaithfulness, which, as I've said before is most definitely not the case.

Her child was to be a boy with a very likely case of down syndrome and other possible defects. She is in her mid 40s, and giving birth could have been just as damaging to her as to her possible son. Her husband and her have been using birth control methods since their last child, however, there are just those times when things happpen. Something happened, and it was an accident. Children shouldn't be accidents, and she knew that. Children shouldn't be punished for accidents.

She did this for her reputation? That's selfish.

She did this to save her baby's life? That's controversial.

She did this to save her own life? That's selfish.

She did this because she had nowhere else to turn? That's an apology.

She's not sorry. Neither is the baby.

The baby is not a baby and never will be.

That's not the way it's supposed to be, but maybe it makes what is supposed to be, better.

What do I care? It's just business.

A Great Day

Today was the first day of my business "Adam's Abortions." Who would've thought that ripping fetuses from their mothers' wombs could make such a profit?

My first customer happened to be a young woman, approximately my age, who had just "lost herself" for the first time. That was how she put it. She lost herself and she told me about it. Why did she lose herself? She thought that he was the one. Why did she tell me about it? Because I'm the one erasing any visible trace of it ever happening. I am like God to her, and this is her form of prayer, of acknowledgment; that and her down payment.

She was a relatively "good" girl. She never smoked, thought it was disgusting. The only time she drank was with her family at a wedding, and she vowed (a funny pun) never to drink again. She was just confused at an age where confusion tends to be the only clear way to think. I assume she was confused again today when she thought that taking out a baby would somehow make her better in her's and everyone's eyes. That may be so. In her eyes, she's a better person, and when she dances with a new boy at prom and forgets about everything, that may be so. That may be so...

I'm not going to go through any details of the abortion, because that's not what this is about. I'll give you three guesses on what this is about. Ready? Go.